Overcoming Peer-Comparison Anxiety

Peer-comparison anxiety is an anxiety that develops over time. When a child faces several incidents where a sibling or friend gets praised or compared to them in a better way to make them feel shameful or adopt other's behaviors. These comparisons are mainly done by their primary caregivers or people very close to them, which has a deep impact on their subconscious mind. The mind prepares itself as a low version of the person they are prepared to be. These comparisons often lead to peer comparison anxiety which in turn can be very frustrating and limit the growth of the person.

In adulthood, a person suffering from peer-comparison anxiety evolves a habit of comparing oneself to others, be it his friends, partner, siblings, coworkers, or any stranger on social media. The peer-comparison anxiety affects him at every moment of life, like choosing a career, going for a job, working on a project, and even marrying someone. The constant anxiety of being judged, not being up to the Mark, jealousy of other's success, or reducing one's self-esteem becomes a regular part of life. Overcoming this anxiety is important for our mental health and personal happiness.

The Science Behind Peer-Comparison Anxiety

Social comparison theory was introduced by psychologist Leon Festinger as a benchmark on how a person develops peer-comparison anxiety. According to this theory, people deal with three types of anxieties: upward, downward, and lateral. Upward social comparison occurs when people admire or compare themselves to others who they think of as better than themselves. This anxiety gives an urge to improve oneself or the feeling of inadequacy. In downward social comparison, a person evaluates himself to others whom he feels are less than him in terms of socio-economical context. This comparison boosts one's self-esteem and may indicate a sense of superiority. Lateral comparison happens when people compare themselves with those we see as equals.

Comparison is not always bad. Comparison gives an innate motivation to work better to achieve something we admire. For example, a person who eats junk and is not serious about his health might compare himself to a person who has a very good physique, who goes to the gym and eats healthy. This will push him to start working out and be healthy. .

Peer-comparison anxiety is boosting in today's world. This is happening because people are now getting more aware of the issues they have been neglecting in search of food and shelter in the past. With the inclusion of social media, people are now comparing themselves to their peers or someone who is living a better life on social media. This constant feeling of regret, guilt, or shame of not doing or leading the same life gives them anxiety.

Real-Life Effects of Peer-Comparison Anxiety

• The act of comparing oneself to others eventually develops a habit of dissatisfaction and can have negative consequences in every aspect.

• Rumination, or the act of constantly feeling negative and anxious about one's issues. This can lead a person to rant over the issues rather than find a solution for them.

• Higher rates of anxiety further lead to depression. Constant comparison to peers or comparing the lives of people on social media amplifies the tendency to measure personal success against others.

• Financially, the pressure to match the lifestyle of peers can lead to overspending, taking loans, and falling into unimportant debts. This further causes financial distress.

Know how to Avoid Comparison to Others

1. Practice Gratitude Daily: It is always recommended to focus on what a person has achieved or even tried to achieve. Being grateful for the resources and understanding that not everyone is meant to have everything would reduce the urge to compare every circumstance to others.

2. Focus on Your Strengths: Acknowledging the talent or unique strengths can reduce negative impressions of oneself. Being able to showcase my skills and creativity would induce satisfaction and an urge to do better. Making a list of all the positive habits, traits, and skills and concentrating on making it better would eventually distract the mind from comparing itself to others.

3. Limit Social Media Exposure: Social media often triggers comparison by showcasing curated highlights of others' lives. Limiting the time spent on these platforms can significantly improve mental well-being. Unfollowing the accounts that make one feel failed or deprived is very crucial for a fresh start.

4. Compete With Self, Not Others: Rather than measuring your worth against your peers, an efficient way of boosting motivation is to focus on your setbacks. Working on past mistakes, learning from the mistakes, and trying hard to boost skills would show progress over time. A person's challenge should be from what he had been in the past and be friends with the person he wants to become in the future. This would lead to success for sure.

5. Celebrate Others’ Successes: Shifting mindset to celebrate the accomplishments of others. This practice reduces feelings of envy and promotes positive relationships.

Conclusion

Avoiding comparison is an ongoing process but it can be corrected. To create a growing and self-fulfilling life, a person needs to come out from the victim state and work hard on themselves. Following the comparison anxiety-reducing methods such as gratitude, focusing on strengths, limiting social media, competing with oneself, celebrating others, setting boundaries, etc., can set the person free from the habit of comparison and enhance emotional well-being.